How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
