It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
