yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
