I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
