oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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