shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
