You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
is it fun? or sober?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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