O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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