I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
