doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
