if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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