Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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