I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
