i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
