I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
