had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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