I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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