White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
