It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
