Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
