Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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