i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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