Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
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