STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We don't watch enough power rangers
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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