Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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