hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
