then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
