I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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