I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
