You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
