piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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