Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
