So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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