We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
