love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
