You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
