Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
