Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I need a burrito and a hug.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
