Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
