In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
