I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
