Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
