Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
