is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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