just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
