I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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