So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
