I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
