It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
