idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
