I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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