I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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