you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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