But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
