i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
