someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
