wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
