Where did you get a picture of my penis
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
