So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
